The promise of expecting our first child was a very exciting time. Despite a long labor he was a perfect chubby spectacle. Once the honeymoon period (first 3 weeks) ended the colicky period began and we were off and running.

At around 18 months we began to question why our little man didn’t have much to say. He seemed unusually quiet, yet became frustrated when we couldn’t understand what he was trying to say. Speech language therapy became a weekly part of his life until he moved from junior kindergarten to senior kindergarten. Looking back now; it seems like we spent 5 years getting him to speak with the next 8 hoping he would be quiet.

We often asked ourselves as parents, “if only we had known then what we know now”! My son didn’t recognize his letters or the letter sounds. He couldn’t differentiate a “b” from a “d” from a “t” and more importantly he couldn’t store that information in memory to retrieve it later. He also wasn’t interested in colouring, printing, and cutting and pasting but rather preferred the climber, make believe corner or the build it centre during those formative early years. The “Red Flags” were all there we just didn’t recognize them. The school didn’t seem overly concerned so we figured he’ll catch up, right?

It wasn’t until Grade one that the teacher brought to our attention that our now, very verbal son couldn’t read, couldn’t form his letters and numbers very legibly and was really struggling with maintaining his attention in the classroom. At the time however, there were significant numbers of other Grade One students who were even further behind than he was so he did not “qualify” for the Reading Recovery program by the end of Grade One. This began the trend of our son being behind but not so far behind that he could qualify for services at the school.

By Grade Two the teacher let us know that our son’s “bobble” head distractibility was having a real impact on his learning. We asked if she thought perhaps he might have Attention Deficit. Her response, “Oh no, I have other children in the class with that and he is nothing like them.” That summer we ran to the Psychologist for a full evaluation and it seems like we have been running for different assessments since then.

Over the years the investment into remediation for our son has set us back considerably. We always came back to the same decision. If it can help why not try it! The problem was that the “catch up” never really materialized for our son. Despite that fact he is still able to engage in new learning. As parents, we most admire his resolve to keep trying and we cling to that on those days when school seems almost more than he can bear. Now an identified LD and ADHD student in the public system we are faced with the difficult decision of whether of not to give in to social passing and allowing our son to be pushed forward into highschool when we feel he is not ready to go. Trust us; those eight years of elementary school really do zip by!

My advice to all parents: “Do not wait and, trust your gut instinct”. If you think something is not right with your child’s development move on it. Don’t wait for a family doctor or an education system to determine when your child is behind. The delay for services at that point might set your child back even further. Seek out professionals who specialize in accurate diagnosis of learning difficulties. Most important, resign yourself to the fact that you will be in this journey for the long haul. Take the time to educate yourself, ask questions and keep asking questions until you receive clarity.

Finally, be patient with your child. We can never fully understand the difficulties our children face in their learning unless we too have been there. If you are not LD yourself, be sure to let your child know that you admire their “stick with it” attitude and tenacity. Sometimes it is just reassuring to know that mom and dad are in their corner too!



To contact Barb please email barb@passforkids.com